BitterTree

2004-03-03T15:28:00.000-05:00

Funny and boring at the same time

click the note to go

2004-02-27T21:56:00.000-05:00

The Saga of the Elusive Stoli Zinnamon.

Two weeks ago I sat comfortably in a hotel room nestled in the Catskill Mountains of New York and drank a spirit I had never tried before. It was delicious, it was spicy, it was Stoli Zinnamon. I drank it as my hosts had intended, straight, on the rocks.

I thought about it the next day...and when my hosts offered it again, later that evening, I jumped at the opportunity. I drank it...again...one glass, before the bottle was empty. They had more plain vodka, but it just wasn't the same. So I figured I could get some more when I came back to Boston...a bottle all to myself.

Insta and I went to a liquor store tonight, clerk saw me eyeing the Stoli bottles on the shelf and asked if I was looking for something in particular. "Stoli Cinnamon?" I said, still trying to find it among all the other bottles. "I don't think we have Stoli Cinnamon. In fact, I didn't even know Stoli made cinnamon vodka.
"Yeah, they do." I said to him..."I just had it recently...it's a little like Goldschlagger..."
"...without being so firebally" he said, finishing my sentence...
"exactly..." I acknowledged.

So we left, no Cinnamon Stoli, but a bottle of good ol' Sinatra-approved Jack Daniels instead.

When I came home I asked Melissa, (who enjoyed the Stoli Cinnamon along side me) if I was correct about the special spirit. She confirmed. Indeed I was correct, we did enjoy "Stoli Zinnamon" as it is spelled on the label. "But it's not on their site." I said to her. "All I can find is this info page and a recipe some girl made up named the "Dry Beaver."

"Don't you remember..." she said to me...I'm always forgetting things..."They have a hard time finding it..."
"They said that?!" I exclaimed in mixed excitement and disappointment. "Yeah, that's why they bought several bottles when they were in St. Thomas last month..."
"Oh! So that explains it...I wonder if you can get it States side..."

If anyone knows where I can legally purchase a bottle of Stoli Zinnamon (Cinnamon) in the Boston or New York City area, please, please, please let me know.

2004-02-21T12:53:00.000-05:00

Jumping on the bandwagon

You're Alice's Adventures in Wonderland!

by Lewis Carroll

After stumbling down the wrong turn in life, you've had your mind
opened to a number of strange and curious things. As life grows curiouser and curiouser,
you have to ask yourself what's real and what's the picture of illusion. Little is coming
to your aid in discerning fantasy from fact, but the line between them is so blurry that
it's starting not to matter. Be careful around rabbit holes and those who smile to much,
and just avoid hat shops altogether.

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

2004-02-10T23:54:00.000-05:00

I'll use any excuse to bring back this picture.

Bestseller or yesterday's news?

2004-02-05T20:13:00.000-05:00

[ For context see post below ]

I am an idiot. I am a moron.

I figured out the problem and it had nothing to do with the card at all...sort of.

I bought the wrong one. I bought a network/telephone modem combo card. It's being returned tomorrow.

I hope my story was a source of amusement. At least then it would have some value.

2004-02-05T16:11:00.000-05:00

I blame the dongle.

I bought the computer I use most frequently in 1999 or early 2000. It's a few years old, but it still works well for my everyday needs. I, probably like most people, don't have the money for a brand-spankin'-new machine, so I'm making do with what I have...something that's becoming unusual now-a-days...

When I bought this computer I purchased a combo modem/Ethernet card (PCMCIA - after all, I am on a laptop) along with it, which I've used ever since...and it's been fine...until now. This card uses "dongles" these silly little tentacles that hang precariously from the card, where you plug the Ethernet or phone cable. These dongles are such a silly idea and even worse in practice. The slightest bump, breeze, bustle, tug, turn or tear will disconnect your computer, letting the cable connected to the dongle, dangle from the table or flop to the floor.

Finally, after four years of use, and four years of fear that I would lose the damn dongle and be somewhere stranded without the ability to connect, I did what needed to be done. I ordered a new combo card. One without dongles.

It came today.

On my way out I noticed a box, from Amazon, with my name on it, in the lobby of my building near the mailboxes. Of course, for securities sake I couldn't just leave it sitting there...I wouldn't want it to get stolen. So I brought it back to my apartment. Of course, I couldn't just leave an unopened box there, what if they had sent me the wrong card? So I opened it. They sent me the right card, but I couldn't just leave without seeing what the card actually looked like...what if it had been damaged? So I opened the box - card looked great...

I suppose at this point I could have just left and not installed it...but momentum got the best of me and I started to install. Should be real easy right?

Right...it should be. But it's not.

I take out the old card, dongle and cable fell off, of course and plug in the new card. Win 2000 recognizes it without a problem, asks me for a location to search for a driver...so I dig in the box for the driver CD that came with it. There is no driver CD. Only a floppy disk. There's FAX software on CD included, but all the drivers are on a 3.5" floppy. So I had to shut down the computer, take out the CDRom drive, swap it with my floppy, and boot back up. Installed without a hitch after that.

Great. I'm ready to go...

Now I'm in all sorts of networking hell. It recognizes the card, the card is talking to my router, but I have no connection at all. Zero packets sent, zero packets received. IPConfig isn't telling me much...won't let me /renew...All sorts of bad things are happening.

The worst part is...I knew this was going to happen. This ALWAYS happens. I'll figure it out by the end of the night. It'll be something small, silly and insignificant, but I will have spent the good part of the evening tracking it down. It shouldn't be this way. What ever happened to 'plug and play' ?

So I bet you're wondering how, if I don't have a connection, am I able to post this blog? The trusty ol' dongle. Four years and counting...

Stay tuned for updates...

2004-02-05T10:33:00.000-05:00

"And Nietzsche, with his theory of eternal recurrence. He said that the life we lived we're gonna live over again the exact same way for eternity. Great. That means I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again..."

-Woody Allen from "Hannah and her sisters"

2004-02-04T16:13:00.000-05:00

Happy Winter.

Post your best distance...

490.2 for me.

2004-01-28T00:27:00.000-05:00

"It is a great thing to be able to hold your fire. To wait. Not join the scrimmage and the scramble. The best thing I know in the way of a perversion of English is that toot-and-scramble instead of that toute ensemble. Toot-and-scramble is what is ruining architecture and our country today. Nobody will wait. We have to have it now....

"Under the pressures of our economic system, all of the arts are a mere exploitation. I don't think today the creative artist is any more a feature of our civilization. We have got to bring it back.... Everything is on tap, flowing freely. And the real thing? I don't know if there is any use talking about the real thing when people are so lightly and easily satisfied. Where there is no real demand for the deeper thing and the finer thing, why not let them have less....Somehow we have lost our roots. We don't have roots, we have recollections in place of roots. We have nostalgia and a kind of sentimentality in place of an urge for the real thing. Maybe it's all right, maybe it's a nice way to die without too much pain, gradually taper off into innocuous desuetude."

-Frank Lloyd Wright (Dec 17, 1950)

2004-01-20T10:33:00.000-05:00

Michael Corleone: I saw a strange thing today. Some rebels were being arrested. One of them pulled the pin on a grenade. He took himself and the captain of the command with him. Now, soldiers are paid to fight; the rebels aren't.
Hyman Roth: What does that tell you?
Michael Corleone: It means they could win.

2004-01-14T01:03:00.000-05:00

Though it's a little late for retrospectives, this one called to me to fill it out. Thanks to InstaHangover for the questions.

1. What did you do in 2003 that you'd never done before?
Move to Boston, MA (Brookline, actually), take a cross country flight alone, lose 30 lbs, drove cross country with a friend and visited City Lights Books, read a Bill Bryson book and lots and lots of other things.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I think I made some but I did not keep them. I made the same ones again this year, I'll break them, again.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
I don't believe so.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
A great uncle - we weren't very close but I certainly knew him.
My very nice landlord. His passing saddened me greatly.

5. What countries did you visit?
This great and very big country of ours. No foreign countries, though.

6. What would you like to have in 2004 that you lacked in 2003?
Lots of money and the freedom to travel whenever I wanted to. Focus.

7. What date from 2003 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
June 11, 2003 - Freedom from my own anguish.
July 20 - August 11 - XCountry.
December 31, 2003 - Lots of tequila and suddenly I thought I was Frank Sinatra at the Karaoke machine.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Moving to Boston and actually going thru with XCountry.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Sadly, I feel like there are a lot this year. I can't narrow it to just one.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Lost my voice for a bit in June. Summer colds are the worst.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
The XCountry experience. Believe me, as priceless as the memories are, a lot of that was purchased.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Melissa's - for putting up with me during the darkest period of my life.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
My own.

14. Where did most of your money go?
To my landlord (RIP) and his brother (my other landlord).

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Driving across the country!
Driving all night from Albany, OR to San Francisco, CA and crossing the Golden Gate Bridge at 4am in the misty rain.
Visiting City Lights Books.
Buying a new Bill Bryson book.

16. What song will always remind you of 2003?
Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots, Pt. 1 - The Flaming Lips.
The Man Comes Around or I Hung My Head - Johnny Cash

17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?
Happier.

ii. thinner or fatter?
Thinner

iii. richer or poorer?
Poorer.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Spent more time writing and focusing.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Being so introspective, self-critical.

22. Did you fall in love in 2003?
Of course.

23. How many one night stands?
None, of course.

24. What was your favourite TV programme?
New for 2003? Hmm. The Simple life made me laugh and I liked watching Paris, but I don't think I liked any other new shows.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I'm disappointed in people and I am glad I'm not around certain people anymore, but I don't hate them.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Greatest? I don't think I had one. My eyes (and ears) were opened to The Flaming Lips, though.

28. What did you want and get?
To get out from under a very big and painful rock.

29. What did you want and not get?
The super-mega jackpot.

30. What was your favourite film of this year?
Lost in Translation (maybe?)

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
One Quarter of One Hundred Years. Had dinner with InstaHangover and Melissa, went to a comedy club, saw some lame comics, drank too many Jack and Cokes came home, threw up, talked to Sepi on the phone for the first time and went to sleep.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A path or direction. A single source of motivation.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2003?
Kakhis/Slacks + Button down from January - June
Kakhis + T/Short sleeve shirts - June - October
Kakhis + Long Sleeve shirts/Sweaters - October - December

34. What kept you sane?
I'm not sure I was during the first half of the year, the second half was my BUSY social schedule.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I'm not so sure I did. Bill Bryson made me laugh a lot, I admire his writing style and sense of humor.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
The President & his administration misleading us and rushing us into war.

37. Who did you miss?
My German and other Connecticut friends. NOT Connecticut, though.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
The girls at Yellowstone were pretty cool.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003.
No matter how bad life can get at isolated periods, that awful feeling can be stretched out for months at a time damaging even the most stoic soul. Then it can almost be turned around one day when, without your voice, you get some news that sets you free. But now there's the fear that it will happen again.

40. What was the best thing to happen to the web this year?
Finding old friends on Friendster, Weddings.com, and JDate, but making no contact with them. Ha!

41. Who did you steal this from?
InstaHangover, who got it from David, but who saw it first on the Busblog.

42. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Slip slidin' away
Slip slidin' away
You know the nearer your destination
The more you're slip slidin' away

2004-01-12T13:06:00.000-05:00

Shame on you AIM 5.5.3501

For taking away the 'opt out' of the AIM Today window. Shame on you for making me edit my registry to get rid of that damn ad unit.

Let me guess...ad sales were down on the AIM Today unit, meaning the number of users that see AIM Today was decreasing, so advertisers were paying less for space there. So what did you decide to do? Provide better content so people will be enticed to read it? No. You decided to take away the option for me to turn it off.

AIM Today viewship numbers go up. Ad sales go up. Everyone is happy...except for the user...who has to sit and wait while the window and its (awful) content load. Don't waste my time with your ads.

On a side note...I was (at one point) responsible for having ads appear there...I apologize to everyone. I realize that was wrong.

2003-12-31T18:11:00.000-05:00

What Classic Movie Are You?

2003-12-16T21:37:00.000-05:00

Time for a revolution?

"...economists Laurence Kotlikoff and Jagadeesh Gokhale say that a typical man reaching age 65 today will get a net windfall of more than $70,000 over his remaining years. A luckless 25-year-old, by contrast, can count on paying $322,000 more in payroll taxes than he will ever get back in benefits."

from: "Meet the Greedy Grandparents: Why America's elderly are so spoiled."

2003-12-15T00:52:00.000-05:00

My one question about the Saddam capture is this: What was he doing with $750,000 in U.S. currency?? Wouldn't he be holding Iraq Dinars??

2003-12-12T11:19:00.000-05:00

2003-12-10T10:12:00.000-05:00

Here's the problem with the debates. It's misnamed. There's very little debating going on. It should be called something like "stance on issues" or "here's my platform." Anyone who watches it sees the following:

Moderator: Candidate #1 recently *insert current event or issue* has happened. How would you have handled it?

Candidate #1: I would have done this that or the other because I believe this that or the other.

Moderator: So you would have done this or that?

Candidate #1: That's correct.

Moderator: Okay, Candidate #2 how would you respond?

Candidate #2: I don't believe this or that would work. I would do this and that because I grew up poor. My father worked hard. I have experience. I like small fluffy animals.

Debate it is not, showcase of platform, it is.

2003-12-10T02:12:00.000-05:00

I like my apartment. I really do. Sure there are things I'd like to change about it but I'm happy with it as is. My apartment, like any apartment, has given me a few headaches over the last year and with a new one tomorrow, I thought I'd share some of these with you.

Chapter 1 - Blackout I signed the lease a half a month before I moved in. During that time I made all utility arrangements prior to my move in date and was assured everything was A-OK, switched into my name, new phone number, etc. When I showed up at dusk on moving day, low and behold, there was no electricity. As the movers were carrying my large and very heavy furniture up the 7 half-flights of stairs, I was on the phone with the electric company ("Oh, I see what happened. We usually don't shut apartment electricity, however the person who lived there before you never changed the service into his name so he was getting free electric for a year. When we see that, we do shut it so someone is forced to put their name in to have it turned back on. The operator who transferred the service into your name didn't put out a service call to turn it on because they didn't notice it was off, like I said that's very unusual. We can have someone out there tomorrow to turn it on for you. That's very unusual.")

Chapter 2 - Gas-X A month or so after I moved in I came home from work one night and smelled gas in my apartment. It was pungent and strong and hung heavy in the air. I immediately opened all my windows despite the winter air. InstaHangover happened to be with me and after 20 minutes with no relief in sight gave me this sage advice: "Dude, you'll have to call KeySpan. You either call them now or you call them later, but either way you have to call them." He was right. I knew he was right, so I called them. The woman took my name, said they'd send someone out. To their credit the repair guy showed up within 15 or 20 minutes, told me most likely it was a dead mouse in my wall because that sometimes smells like gas. I told him I wasn't a fucking idiot and would know the difference between a small woodland creature's rotting carcass decaying in my wall and the smell of natural gas. Okay, I just thought that, but as soon as he walked in he knew he was wrong. So with sensors and pumps, he checked all the connections in my stove and the pipes in the wall then took out the most high tech of all his gadgets. Soap and Water and checked and rechecked all the seals, connections and nuts and washers. There were no leaks anywhere. "Well I can't find it. I bet it's stopped now and we're just smelling the residual gas that was trapped in here" he said, "if it still smells in twenty or thirty minutes, call us back, they'll send someone to check the lines."

So I waited. It still smelled. So I called, explained the situation again, they sent someone out pronto, again. He had pumps, sensors, turkey basters, and high tech soap and water, all of his readings came out clean, too. Except for one. He was now sensing something in the wall. "You have a leak in a pipe in your wall. I'll need to shut the gas in the building. So he found the basement and the super and he shut the gas and left. The super called the landlord, the landlord called a plumber and they all barged into my kitchen, tool boxes ablazing at 10 pm telling me that KeySpan over reacted by shutting the gas in the building. The plumber sensed the leak too, though he couldn't get to it so they'd have to keep my gas off for an indeterminable period of time. It ended up being 14 or 15 days. The leak was under the floor of my kitchen. After day 2 or 3 of no gas I got a very nice surprise, however. My landlord telling me to take $10 a day off of my rent for every day I don't have gas. So I did and saved myself something like $150.

Chapter 3 - Joyus Spring.
Spring is a time of rebirth. I know this first hand because I had baby birds living in my wall for a little over a month. They made their way out of the cold into a ventilation shaft which leads to the building's attic. The attic must have a passageway into my wall because that's where they nested, laid their eggs and nurtured their young. The constant chirping, squawking and scratching in the wall was getting progressively worse as spring went on until one day it stopped all together. Some people might say "and I missed the noise for the same reason I missed the silence, because I lived with it for so long." Not me, I don't miss one squeak, squawk or scratch. I'm glad they learned to fly. So long suckers.

Chapter 4 - Winter Wonderland
So winter has come again and with it, here in the Northeast are the infamous Nor'Easters which just dumped 2-3 feet of snow on Boston and most of that was plowed behind my car. I needed to use my car, which forced me to dig it out yesterday morning. Forty five minutes using a shovel designed to dig a hole, not moving 80 metric tons of snow behind my car. I might as well have been using tissue paper. Ahh, but that's not my problem. You see, after I dug my car out and drove it out of the lot, they plowed my spot, which is great. Tonight, I received a notice from the landlord saying two things. First, I must move my car today between the hours of 9 am and 5 pm, because of all the snow, they've contracted to have the lot plowed and the snow removed and second, due to an unexpected maintenance issue, there will be no hot water between the hours of 9 am and 5 pm.

It will be nice not to have to deal with the snow in the parking lot and I appreciate their efforts, however this means I'll have to park it on the street, which would be fine in any other town than the one I live in, where the 2 hour parking limit is enforced on all streets between the hours of 6 am and 2 am. So it looks like I'll have a parking ticket tomorrow, along with all of my neighbors and a cold shower at 7am when everyone will be using the water. Brrr.

Overall I really do like my apartment though. I used to like my landlord, he was Greek and very nice, even if he did tell me that KeySpan over reacted, but he passed away this summer. His brother still runs the place, he's nice too, I wave to him in the parking lot when I see him.

O Apartment, treat me well this winter, it'll be cold and lonely enough without you playing your tricks on me. Thank you.

2003-12-04T00:27:00.000-05:00

I just spoke to Sepi. She Rules.

2003-12-03T09:06:00.000-05:00

Yay. My Birthday.

2003-11-29T15:17:00.000-05:00

And they probably took whatever was in her hands.

2003-11-25T21:18:00.000-05:00

I'm hungry.

2003-11-23T00:21:00.000-05:00

My blog took a vacation and gave me no warning whatsoever. It's back now, a little tanned and feeling refreshed, so it says.

Apparently Bush likes cotton candy...oh wait...isn't that his mother?

2003-11-06T02:00:00.000-05:00

turn up your speakers and click on mr. nice

2003-10-27T18:27:00.000-05:00

Something tells me The Mollusk is behind the Bank of America/Fleet Bank Merger.

Whenever there's a buyout like that one, you can expect to find an invertebrate nearby. Especially one as cunning and cut throat in M&A as The Mollusk.

Beware giant corporations everywhere, beware.

2003-10-27T16:00:00.000-05:00

This is a rabbit.

If i were the BusBlog I'd say "Caption this Please" but instead, I'll just say...

See more fluffy rabbits here

2003-10-22T21:56:00.000-04:00

Tony the Cubs fan, Divine Ms. J, QuickSilver the Red Sox Fans...

This segment from NPR is for you.

We can all still dream.

2003-10-21T12:19:00.000-04:00

MR. BRADDOCK: What is it, Ben?

BEN: I'm just -

MR. BRADDOCK: - worried?

BEN: Well -

MR. BRADDOCK: (sighs) About what?

BEN: I guess - about my future.

MR. BRADDOCK: What about it?

BEN: I don't know. I want it to be -

MR. BRADDOCK: To be what?

BEN: (quietly) Different.

Sometimes, we all feel like Ben Braddock.

2003-10-17T09:37:00.001-04:00

Guten Tag und Auf Wiedersehen.

I have a few European friends, mostly German, who used to be Au Pairs in Connecticut when I lived there. They have long since left the U.S., though we still keep in touch every once in a while. So when one of them wrote to me and asked if there was a possibility she and her friend (no one I knew) could spend a night in Boston to do some sight seeing, I of course said yes.

They arrived on Wednesday around 4:00 and with traffic we got back to my apartment at 4:30 put their stuff down and headed back out the door. We, of course, hit Quincy Market/Fanieul Hall, long wharf, took a stroll through Boston common, the public gardens, up Newbury Street over to Boylston, until it was finally too dark to really 'see' anything so we stopped for coffee at Starbucks, quite a treat for them. They love Starbucks, I mean LOVE it. They have a limited English vocabulary so with every sip I heard an "oh wow" "oh wow" "oh wow" "oh wow" "oh wow." It seemed a little intense for coffee...so I asked "Do you have Starbucks in Germany?" "Only in the big Cities like Berlin and Frankfurt, not where we live." Huh. Imagine that -- a city -- almost an entire country -- without Starbucks. Incredible.

Over dinner, I tried to explain how Baseball is played, without a TV and using only a cocktail napkin and a fine point pen. Words like "Inning" and "Strike" had no inherent meaning to them so when I tried to explain what each meant, they stared at me with blank faces. They had trouble understanding that a "ball" wasn't only the round object you throw around the field. As if that wasn't hard enough, I tried to explain the playoffs, and world series, which they sort of understood, but then they asked if there were any German baseball teams. I told them I didn't think so, only Canadian. "Then vhy is it the verld series?" I didn't have an answer.

They left Thursday afternoon, after visiting Harvard in the morning. They made me promise to come to Germany, which I did, and left me with a bottle of German red wine and some German chocolates, as a thank you gift.

However, the greatest thank you from their visit came from the police in the neighborhood, who gave me a $15 parking ticket for leaving my car parked on the street, after giving up my parking spot to my international visitors, for more than two hours (two hours and fifteen minutes, to be exact), which I promptly paid.

2003-10-15T10:41:00.000-04:00

Hey folks,

I am back from the great wedding in the keys (no rain!) and although I'm a bit sunburned, I'm okay. I've become very busy...I have out-of-country guests staying with me tonight, so I need to play tour guide (or as Quicksilver would prefer, I'll "wear my tour guide hat") for some sightseeing in Boston. Then I'm off to another wedding on Saturday, but I'll post before then.

Be back soon.

Until then, fill in the blanks.

I'll never _____ _____ with _____.

2003-10-09T15:51:00.000-04:00

There won't be any new posts until Monday or Tuesday. I'm off on the first leg of my trip to Florida (the wedding in the keys). They're saying thunderstorms on Sunday. Uh oh. It should still be fun.

Until next week...

2003-10-09T12:57:00.000-04:00

fill in the blanks....

I wish I could ______ a _______ for myself.

2003-10-08T18:14:00.000-04:00

What a day. Sometimes pictures are worth more than a thousand words. Sometimes a picture (or painting) can capture exactly how you're feeling. The painting below is "The Death of Marat" by Jacques Louis-David, and for some reason, I thought of it immediately as a depiction of my mood.

Jaques-Louis David was a close friend of Jean-Paul Marat, the man in the tub. Marat was a leader in the French Revolution, an editor of a revolution newspaper, hence the writings in his hand. Because of a disfiguring skin disorder, he would soak for hours in a tub, while working. Charlotte Corday, a royalist, managed to gain entry to his home and Marat agreed to greet her. She stabbed him and fled. He died, soaking in his tub, pen in hand. For a better explanation, see this page.

I guess I'm thankful I didn't have to post this one. If I had, I would have certainly been Holofernes, losing my head, not Judith or the maidservant. Though I have felt like the maidservant on occasion and once, just once, I felt like Judith. The Savior.

What a day. Among other things, we found out a close friend of my father's was killed and eaten by a bear. Though I didn't know him personally, I certainly heard enough about him and saw enough of his work to make me feel like I knew him. It's quite a day when you find out something like that.

There's a whole lot more that happened today, but I'm sworn to keep it off the blog, lest it incriminate me...

So long.

More art history tomorrow. Then I'm off to the wedding in the Keys.

2003-10-08T10:03:00.000-04:00

2003-10-08T01:56:00.000-04:00

I had written a post about how I'm feeling right now, the elections, yada yada yada, but it wasn't very good, so I decided to recall it and elect a new post instead.

So here I am, the muscle bound, sexually harassing new post of BitterTree.

I'm feeling very little passion and much, too much frustration lately. I'm feeling somewhat out of control, too many things are happening, too many dates, deadlines and people. Yet, at the same time, I'm feeling calm. Relaxed. Blissfully in denial. I'm thinking of taking some excellent advice and getting myself some cookie dough.

Reminds me of a line from a favorite movie of mine...
"There's an old joke. Uh, two elderly women are at a Catskills mountain resort, and one of 'em says, 'Boy, the food at this place is really terrible.' The other one says, 'Yeah, I know, and such small portions.' Well, that's essentially how I feel about life. Full of loneliness and misery and suffering and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly."

Ain't that the truth.

Anyone been inspired by anything lately? anything they'd like to pass on?

2003-10-07T10:12:00.000-04:00

Right, Right. Enough with Politics for now. That is...until tonight when the votes are counted and we see, yet again, that conspiracies actually work.

I realize it's old news, but I just have to ask...What did the neighbors think of the Tiger and Alligator found in the Harlem apartment? I can understand if you could...maybe...hide the alligator, they're pretty quiet, but surely they could hear a tiger ROAR, no?

I had a friend who lived next to an apartment where a lonely 40-something woman lived and would invite her Church friends over to sing Hymns...He KNEW she lived there. There was no escaping that.

Or maybe, just MAYBE, the neighbors did hear the tiger but said "oh, so what? at least he doesn't throw loud parties like the last guy who lived there?"

2003-10-06T22:47:00.000-04:00

Ken Lay says: "Arnold, can you help me get rid of Governor Davis?"

Arnold says: "I'm your man"

Mike Milken says: "I should be at the meeting, too. My shady dealing days aren't over yet!"

One more before the election
This has got to be the greatest recall scandal story that will never be read/covered by the news media.

http://www.gregpalast.com/detail.cfm?artid=284

Thanks to the mollusk for the link.

PS - Mollusk, don't forget to vote tomorrow.

2003-10-06T12:45:00.000-04:00

Okay, enough politics for now.

First, I have to say, I'm not a huge sports fan, but I do, and always have liked baseball. Maybe it's because I used to play in Little League as a kid, or maybe it's because I loved the '86 Mets (sorry Sox fans...), regardless, I like baseball. Maybe it's just because I've been paying more attention to it than I have in the last few years, but folks, this post season has been more exciting than any I can remember (save, the '86 Mets). I'm hooked. I want to see the Sox win it this year. Though, if they don't make it as the American League champs, then I want to see it go to the Cubs.

Enough about sports for now. More interesting things to come.

2003-10-02T23:48:00.000-04:00

The icing on a very unappetizing cake.
Arnold admitted admiration for a very bad man.

2003-10-02T22:21:00.000-04:00

For the real Geek

2003-10-02T15:14:00.000-04:00

OH...I GET IT.

So the way to lead in the polls in the California recall election is to sexually harass women, smoke pot on film and use steroids. Certainly nothing says "I'm an environmentalist" like driving a hummer. I think we all know the good folks in California don't really care about the environment, right?

Remind me why you'd want a Governor who refuses a debate unless he can see the questions first. Oh, right...nothing unexpected ever happens in California. It's not like it sits on a fault line.

Is that hypocrisy in your pocket, or are you just happy to vote republican?

2003-10-01T15:53:00.000-04:00

I'm getting lazy here.

All the time my mind is thinking of things to post. All the time. A couple of times I've started writing something, become frustrated and closed it out, without posting. Now my blog looks stale.

It finally happened today. I had to wear long sleeves outside. The heat is on in my building. Folks, it's fall. And Old Man Winter is quickly, perhaps dumbly stumbling, on the heels of Lady Autumn. It had been a busy summer and just because it's fall, it doesn't look like it's going to slow down anytime soon.

This past weekend I spent at my parents house, putting entirely too much time into fixing a computer they bought as a bargain. Seriously, I'd estimate 25 - 30 hours over 3 days. Entirely too much time. My dad gave up before I even came down and bought another, nicer, computer instead. I'm glad he did that. But now I've inherited this 'broken' one, which isn't quite broken. Just broken enough to get me frustrated and motivated to fix it.

Returning from my parents I realized I hadn't sent in my rent and other bills that need to be in by the first of the month, so that's what I've done this morning. This coming weekend, I had thought of hitting the Apple Harvest Festival in my beloved ITHACA. Doesn't look like that's going to happen. I suppose a free weekend will be nice, too.

The end of next week, I'm heading back to NY to catch a flight to Florida for a wedding in the Keys (remember the bachelor party?) and return the following Monday. That Wednesday I'm going to have old friends from Germany stay with me for a night or two so they can see their beloved Boston. The following weekend I have another wedding to attend somewhere in Southern Massachusetts.

So much to think about. So much to blog about.

This California Recall Election has put me into a tail spin, which is quickly becoming obsession.

Are Californians really charmed by Arnold? Do they believe he will be a good leader? Or are they so taken by his celebrity that they'd rather see someone who can, literally, 'play the part' of Governor instead of someone who actually IS the Governor. Who do you think will write Arnold's lines?

I'm sure The Mollusk, Sepi, or Tony would know more than I do.

I just hope this doesn't turn out to be like one of those cruel and ugly high school elections where enough jackasses think it would be funny to write in their vote for the class clown as class president, only to have the administration trample them and provide them with no resources... I think you get my point.

Where is Abe Lincoln when we need him?

2003-09-30T02:06:00.000-04:00

I had a friend in college who figured out a way to scam her way out of a very early and very boring lecture class. It was so simple and worked all too well. You see, it was much too early in the morning for her to actually arrive to class on time, so she would show up two or three minutes before the end of class. And in the commotion of the exiting students, she would quietly slip in, sign her name on the attendance sheet posted in the back of the room and slip out with the rest of the crowd, happily going to her next class.

This worked for her all semester, except once. She overslept. She missed her window, the sheet, students and professor were gone by the time she showed up. Not wanting to look like a bad student, she planned on seeing the professor during office hours to explain that she was, in fact, in class that morning and realized she had walked out without signing the attendance sheet. However, before she had the chance to visit him in his office, fate stepped in and put the two of them in the right place at the right time. Call it Serendipity. She just happened to run into him by the campus food court and immediately seized her opportunity. Explaining her position, her name, the time of the class, how much she enjoyed the lecture that morning, on and on. The professor looked at her and said "Wow...I must say [NAME WITHHELD], you're a better student than anyone...Because we didn't have class this morning."

Silence.

Nervous Laughter.

Condescension.

Humiliation.

That's right, class was cancelled, since she hadn't seen anyone from the class, she had no way of knowing. Several months afterward she told me that the incident had shaken her so deeply, the humiliation so overwhelming that she couldn't mention the incident for three weeks after it happened. It wasn't surprising, to me or to her, that she ended up having to repeat the class. That, of course had nothing to do with the fact that she never actually attended a lecture.

2003-09-26T00:39:00.000-04:00

I apologize to QuickSilver for not answering this sooner.

I just happened to stumble upon his question...part of my "Ask Me Anything" series in which you fellow bloggers write in to ask me questions on anything you can think of.

QuickSilver writes:
who invented the cubicle? Are they still alive? Where do they live if they are?

BitterTree answers:

According to Entrepreneur Magazine, Bob Propst invented the cubicle way back in 1968. Metropolis Magazine did a fascinating story on the history of the Cubicle, Bob Propst's role in its development and corporate America's greed that's turned a revolutionary idea into the bane of millions of workers around the country.

Sadly, Bob Propst is no longer living; He passed away in 2000.

2003-09-25T07:11:00.000-04:00

Another 'test' dream last night. This was an important test. I tried to study with some friends. I tried. We had to walk through a spooky abandoned school to get to the classroom to take the test. I struggled for the first hour or so, surfing the web, reading other things, just general distraction, but decided I really needed to buckle down and get through the test, since I knew last and most difficult part of the test, two essays, were yet to come. I never got to them. My alarm went off.

But I can't help but wonder this morning, what's with the testing? If you're one who think dreams have some meaning, hidden, coded or otherwise, to your waking life, then surely this must be symbolic of some test in my life now, right?

If you're one that thinks dreams are just the body's way of 'fooling' the mind into thinking it's awake so it won't actually wake up, thus allowing you to keep sleeping, then this is nothing more than a random firing of neurons...nothing more.

Either way, there's one thing I have realized from these last two night dreaming of tests. It's not fun going back to high school...in a dream or in reality.

2003-09-24T21:31:00.000-04:00

This past Sunday I got myself a spiffy new cell phone, plan and number. All were terribly outdated. Tonight I received my first wrong number on my new cell phone. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Hello?
Wrong Number: (inebriated) Laaaaaaarry....
Me: Excuse me?
Wrong Number: (inebriated) Is Laaaaaarry there?
Me: I'm sorry, you have the wrong number.
Wrong Number: (inebriated) Oh, I'm SORRY man!
Me: No Problem
Wrong Number: (inebriated) Oh...I'm SORRY...I'm on my friend's phone...The number was right above "Laura" you know?
Me: Yeah
Wrong Number: (inebriated) Well, I'm SORRY.
Me: No problem
Wrong Number: (inebriated) Okay, I'm SORRY.
Me: Okay, Bye.
Wrong Number: (inebriated) Bye Man!

Of course this got me thinking. There are so many things in my life that are covered with the fingerprints of others. For six months or a year into living in my old apartment, I was still receiving mail for "Moriarty." Not just catalogs and other 'junk mail' but important mail, IRS stuff, Bank stuff. I finally had to call the post office and complain. Of course the mail still came and now I had an angry postal worker delivering my mail... From time to time I receive mail at my current apartment for several ex-tenents, the bulk of which is for someone, coincidentally, named Larry.

A few months ago I got a call confirming a doctors appointment on my home telephone for a woman named Victoria. Not to mention, over the summer I was getting harrassing phone calls in the middle of the night. Victoria's ex-boyfriend, perhaps? Wrong numbers/information abound.

Ghosts really do surround us everyday. An interesting thought.

2003-09-24T02:00:00.000-04:00

Strange strange dreams awakened me at this hour...

I was back in high school, maybe even college, taking an English test on some obscure story I hadn't studied for. I was talking with the teacher, explaining my answers when I found myself at a part of the story I knew was full of symbolism. "The bird", I explained "the one that watched the Dutch settlers destroy the trees in the forest of his home, stood for loneliness and isolation..." As I explained the allegory to the teacher I found myself actually IN the story. Being carried by the bird, high above the water, talons sharply piercing into my neck. I was paralyzed. I saw the Dutch settlers cutting the trees, I saw how the beach was now much bigger because of this deforestation. I couldn't do anything but watch. Then I was dropped. And I fell. And I tried to move, but I couldn't. And I kept falling. Until finally I splashed into sea below...waking up to very real goosebumps, sweat and a growling, empty, angry stomach.

Here I sit at 2:00am, blogging about this dream. I just ate so I'm feeling better in that sense, but I'm not very tired anymore. Maybe I should submit it to Dream Toons?

2003-09-23T13:28:00.000-04:00

I found this while doing some research on the Food Network.

So funny...

2003-09-23T12:17:00.000-04:00

This is a magic keyboard. Apparently it can cure cancer, Psoriasis and help you lose weight. Honest. Read the customer reviews.

It's surprising that the manufacturer doesn't mention that in their specs.

The world is a mysterious place.

On a related note, I wish I could talk like Humphrey Bogart. Perhaps I'll take up smoking and start wearing suits everywhere. My luck I'd end up talking like Peter Lorre.

2003-09-23T07:46:00.000-04:00

I have a friend and devout reader of this blog who had the idea for this before we knew it existed. A quick search at the US Patent and trademark office revealed that this (or a similar device) was patented in March 2001. He had told me about his idea for this device prior to that date.

Perhaps this is one of those inventions that was bound to be discovered, invented and marketed, regardless of inventor, like the telephone. It's a shame he missed his window. I know there's more brewing up in his head though, that's just the way he is. It's only a matter of time before he changes his name to "Edison II."

2003-09-22T14:23:00.000-04:00

Good for Salon.com!

I just went through an experience I'd like to share with you. I am happy about what just happened. Very happy.

I've posted about my unhappiness with the use and overuse of advertisments. I feel strongly that we, as consumers, should accept advertising only when it provides us something in return. You don't want to pay for your TV? Sure, you can get it free...but you have to watch commercials. You want HBO? Well, you have to pay for HBO, but, you don't get any outside advertising. This is a system that works.

I just went to Salon.com and was presented with a choice. I could watch a special "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" TV commercial for a FREE day pass to Salon. So I did so. This was an equal exchange. I provided them with my time and attention, they provided me with a free day pass to Salon's content. Win-Win.

This is the way it should be. Equal exchange. Bravo, Salon.

2003-09-22T12:05:00.000-04:00

You know what really gets to me? When people answer questions with vague things like "more than you could ever imagine."

I'll give you an example.

"How much are the Hilton Sisters estimated to inherit?"

"Nicky and Paris Hilton are heiresses to the Hilton Hotel fortune, needless to say they'll inherit more than you and I could ever imagine."

THAT is a bullshit answer. I can imagine a lot. I mean a whole lot. I can imagine much more than Paris and Nicky stand to inherit (which is estimated to be $150,000,000 each). More than Bill Gates has (currently the wealthiest person in the world). We're talking amounts that rival the deficit under the republicans. So don't bullshit me by saying "more than you or I can imagine." Exaggeration is fine, bullshit is not.

2003-09-21T02:11:00.000-04:00

The question mark was emphasized

Maybe it was the caffeine in the coke, coffee or cherry coke I drank tonight. Maybe it was the nap I took this afternoon. Maybe it's my natural circadian rhythms. Whatever the cause, right now, I am wired. Not tired -- wired.

So I'm sitting awake in my living room reading my post from the other day, trying to shed some light on it one way or another. No use.

I have also been thinking that comments on blogs are nice. The ability to leave or receive feedback is half of what makes blogging fun. It is fun, isn't it? Comments don't have to be profound, funny or even interesting, but comments are proof that someone is actually taking the time to read what you write and more than that, they've been moved in some way by your words that they respond with words of their own. Like the cycle of life...sort of.

Although sometimes, comments, like the people who write them, are just rude...I came across one such comment on another blog (hint: it's linked on the right) where the anonymous commenter left an insulting comment along with a general piece of advice for the blogger. No need to go into specifics here.

Now I'm all for freedom of speech. Say what you want, but let the insulted know who said it. So if you want to hide behind your IP address of: 67.249.164.223, do so. But know something, we're on to you. It's only a matter of time.

So keep commenting! All advice can be helpful if looked at through the right set of eyes. All stories can be interesting, (except those by James Joyce) and all compliments are flattering, regardless of the author or sayer.

My advice: Find a blog you like and leave a message.

Anyway, you may have noticed, I've added a new 'sites' section to the other links on the right. Some of the sites I've included I've blogged about before, others I just like. I'll keep adding new ones when I come across them, but this is a start. I hope it'll show you something you've never seen before.

Oh, and before I leave I've just learned, by age 25, John D. Rockefeller owned one of the largest oil refineries in the world.

PS - I just yawned. I guess Blogging makes me tired.

2003-09-19T13:05:00.000-04:00

Where has the motivation gone?

I'm feeling nostalgic. I'm feeling sad. I'm feeling stuck in a rut. I'm thinking about what I used to be like, in college. That was only a few years ago, but a lot has changed since then. I was active. I was involved. I was finishing up a double major. I was president of an student organization. I was a teaching assistant. I volunteered six-hours a week at the career center helping people tweak their resumes so they can land good jobs. They did. I was doing an independent study requiring a thesis. I wrote a thesis on the depiction of the elderly in 16th and 17th century German prints. I wrote a senior seminar paper on the history of psychology in advertising. I knew what I was talking about. On the weekends I went out with friends, I had fun. I planned a week-long spring break trip 36 hours before I set foot on the plane. I stayed up all night writing a coverletter for a job. I landed an interview because of that coverletter. I landed a job because of that coverletter. Life was exciting. The world was full of possibilities.

I'm feeling burned out. I'm feeling open. Maybe I've been inspired by the consistent openness and honesty found here. Maybe I'm jealous. Maybe I still feel that the world has possibilities but I'm not seeing them anymore or at least not in the same way. Maybe that's why this post is so self-absorbed. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.

Picasso had made a name for himself in Paris by age 20. George Harrison was playing with the Beatles at 17. Mozart was playing for royalty at age 6. Okay, Motzart's an exception. Kerouac wrote his first novel at age 24. What have I done? What have you done?

Maybe I picked the wrong road to take, now I'm lost without a map and hardly any gas in the tank...It's getting dark folks. Winter's approaching.

2003-09-18T21:31:00.000-04:00

Anyone else sick and tired of the hurricane coverage??

2003-09-18T18:29:00.000-04:00

A special thank you is dedicated to the Divine Ms. J for your post on the upcoming movie, starring Johnny Depp & Benico Del Toro based on a novel by the good doctor. I know this will be of interest to Circa, too.

I happened to notice today that Princess dedicated a post to you. In that post she mentioned that you like a certain celebrity...Well, I thought it would only be right if I posted an article for you. Maybe you will get the chance be a stepmom.

Cheers, and keep up the good blogs.

2003-09-18T13:54:00.000-04:00

New posts will be coming soon.

Sorry for the silence.

2003-09-12T18:17:00.000-04:00

Is this study surprising to anyone?

...Wechsler defines binge-drinking as the consumption of five or more drinks in one sitting by a man, or four by a woman.

Set the standards low enough and soon everyone will be classified as a Binge drinker.

I've had five drinks over several hours, "in one sitting," and though technically that would constitute binge drinking, I'd argue against it. I've also had five drinks in one hour...I would consider that binging...and studpidly fun.

2003-09-12T13:59:00.000-04:00

Ripped off? or Great minds think alike? 1, 2

2003-09-12T07:41:00.000-04:00

Today is a sad day.

I've been listening to Johnny Cash since senior year of college, when Circa and I started to swap mp3s of "A Boy Named Sue" "I Walk the Line", "One Piece at a Time" and other classics. I continue to listen to him and, recently, was angry at myself for leaving my Johnny Cash CD in the CD-ROM drive of my computer when I left my job.

I try to make an effort to see older music legends before they pass on. I've seen Dave Brubeck, BB King, Buddy Guy, Bob Dylan, Paul Simon. I have also seen the Grateful Dead (with Jerry). I'm sad to say that I never got the chance to see Johnny Cash. Thanks for being so original.

I must say, when I was a kid, I was a John Ritter fan. My sister would make me sit and watch "Three's Company" with her. While I didn't understand the subtle homosexual innuendos and overtly sexual references, I did enjoy watching him get a face full of flour or trip and fall over the sofa (Until I was about 10, I thought that's why they named him Jack Tripper.) I thought he did an excellent job in Sling Blade. I will admit, I wasn't a viewer of his latest sitcom, but I respected him, nonetheless. Rest in Peace, Mr. Ritter.

2003-09-11T16:52:00.000-04:00

Sometimes the universe can be cruel.

I just came back from getting a haircut ("no, I got them all cut"...hardy har har) but on my way down, I realized just how much impact one person (me) can have in this great big world.

My barber is only 3 or 4 blocks from my apartment. En route there is a supermarket, a pet store, nail salon, dry cleaner and a major construction site for a fancy new 'design lighting' store. This construction site has trucks coming and going all day, so they've stationed a police officer out front to direct traffic. Well, I came to the construction site, the officer asked me if I'd like to cross, I did, so she stopped traffic to allow me to cross.

When I arrived on the other side of the street, I noticed the officer was now allowing someone to turn out of a parking lot and while doing so had her hand up to STOP an oncoming car. Behind this car was a guy on a 10 speed bike. The car, traveling too fast for the street, stopped too short for the bicyclist, he attempted to stop as quickly as he could but ended up hitting the back of the car and smaking his face on the trunk first, then the back windshield. The officer rushed over asking if he was okay, he got up, shook it off, put his hat back on and told her he was fine.

All because of me. If I hadn't crossed...she wouldn't have stopped the traffic...yada yada yada...

So goes the world.

PS- My TV is on mute.

2003-09-11T10:38:00.000-04:00

Mark Writes:
I need the numbers 0-10, written (hopefully in a font I can use) AND pronunciations in the following languages:

Chinese
Russian
Hebrew
Arabic

BitterTree Answers:
Dear Mark,

What a request!

This is what I've found for you, I hope it can be of some help.

Chinese
For your information, according to SpeakALanguage.com Mandarin Chinese is the most common Chinese dialect.

Chinese Counting (for pronunciation): here (Flash Fun!).
You can see the Chinese numbers here and download free Chinese fonts here.

Russian
You can find the pronunciation of numbers here.
You can find MANY Cyrillic (Russian) Fonts (TrueType) here.

Hebrew
You can find the pronunciation of the numbers here.
and a few Hebrew fonts here.

Arabic
You can find the pronunciation of numbers here.
You can find Arabic fonts here.

Hope this has been a help. Thanks for writing....

2003-09-10T08:38:00.000-04:00

Did this article really need to be written, let alone published?

2003-09-10T06:57:00.000-04:00

The Mollusk Writes:
What about the "hair grows back thicker and darker" when shaved theory? Is that real or imagined? Why would hair grow faster and darker just because you cut it?

BitterTree Answers:
Though this may have been a very funny premise for a Seinfeld episode, it too is only a common myth. According to About.com's Dermatology Expert "Shaving does not make the hair shaft thicker, darker, or grow faster or slower." Though it may seem that way because "the short hair shaft grows out...with a blunt tip instead of the normal tapered tip."

Thanks again for the question, Mollusk, feel to shave yourself without consequences.

2003-09-09T16:41:00.000-04:00

"ROD" writes:
How does trimming the ends of my hair encour[a]ge growth when my hair grows from the root?

BitterTree Answers:
Who said it did? According to Good Housekeeping the belief that trimming hair will make it grow faster is a common myth.

They say: "Hair grows a half-inch per month, whether you cut it or not," says John Barrett, owner of the John Barrett Salon in New York City. Hair may grow slightly faster in the summer, but that has nothing to do with the stylist's scissors and everything to do with hormones, which do speed growth a little."

However, hair always seems to grow in much more slowly when you get a bad hair cut than when you get a good haircut, doesn't it?

Thanks for your question 'ROD'.

Next!

2003-09-08T16:22:00.000-04:00

Call me Jake Gittes

Okay people, listen up.

I'm realizing that I'm pretty good at researching and finding info on just about anything that interests me. But I'm starting to bore myself, so I'm opening up this blog to you.

Do you have a question that you've been unable to answer? Do you wonder how a refrigerator, cell phone or a toilet works? or how much money is all the money in the world?

Maybe you're wondering how many trees must be cut down to produce one edition of the Sunday New York Times? Or where and how much is the most expensive hotel room in the world? (answer: $25,000 a day at the Bridge Suite at the Atlantis resort in the Bahamas -- and a 21-hour day at that)

Now I'm serious, if you have a question you haven't been able to answer, let me know. Post a comment.

If I can find some reliable info for you, I'll be happy to blog about it.

Keep in mind what my teachers used to say in school. "If you have a question about something, chances are someone else has that question, too." Thank you Divine Ms. J for proving that with this comment.

So don't be shy. Post a comment.

2003-09-08T00:01:00.000-04:00

Did you ever wonder...

I love my TV's 'mute' button. I mute everything. *phone rings* I Mute. *commercial* I mute. *someone talks* mute. *i talk* I mute. *i blog* I mute.

My tv is on mute right now. Cogito ergo mute.

Ask anyone who's watched TV with me. I mute everything.

And so... Since I mute everything I have enabled the closed captions on my television. This is a wonderful invention. So wonderful, in fact, that I wondered how it worked. Was there a little troll that sat somewhere, listened to the broadcast and transcribed (errors and all) onto my television set? or had voice recognition software come so frar that it's translated and displayed by computer alone?

To find out, I (of course) went to How Stuff Works. According to them:

"A stenographer listens to the broadcast and types the words into a special computer program that adds the captions to the television signal. The typists have to be skilled at dictation and spelling and they have to be very fast and accurate at typing."

I've noticed that they're actually quite inaccurate with live broadcasts, though amusing nonetheless. Figuring out entirely new meanings with synonyms for the words that are actually said. However, they're a whole lot quicker than I could ever be. Let's just hope court stenographers aren't quite as lackadaisy.

Cheers.

2003-09-07T20:23:00.000-04:00

This weekend my parents came to visit. We joked that their trip revolved around eating. They were here from Friday afternoon until Sunday afternoon.

I don't think that was too far from the truth.

Below are the places where we ate:

Sepal
Panera
Firenzi
Driftwood
Fugakyu
Brueggers Bagels
Parish Cafe

2003-09-05T10:47:00.000-04:00

I used to work at a company that produced internet ads, you know those banner ads, flash ads, screen takeovers, etc. etc. Yeah, I was one of the ones you can blame for that. We were quite legit, though. Big clients, clients that you'd know if you heard them, clients that you've probably eaten, driven or used to buy things at some point this week. We were never 'deceptive' with our ads (ie: if this is flashing you're a winner!) and I must say we were quite sucessful, by internet ad standards.

However, the whole experience left me quite empty. I dislike the flashing banners as much as the next guy, but I had to live with myself knowing that I was putting it out there. Yeah, yeah, i realize they're necessary for free content, but that doesn't make them any less annoying.

So yesterday when I started customizing my router's firewall for the new high speed connection, I stumbled upon something that I must say, I'm quite proud of. I noticed that I can customize my firewall to block certain keywords from being passed on to my browsers. The intent, I'm sure was to limit pornography and other child un-friendly materials from beng, even accidentally, accessed.

It works like this, anytime the firewall sees a certain word (customized by me) in the URL (the web address) it blocks it. Simple huh?

Well, I've used it for my own good, my friends. I've used it to block, I'd say 90% - 95% of advertising on any page I visit. This is without using any software, this STOPS it at the source, it doesn't allow it to be displayed.

It's been a quite enjoyable day and a half without the ads, I must say.

Mahalo.

2003-09-04T10:22:00.000-04:00

Every so often, I'll go through the bookmarks in my browser and come across a site that makes me laugh. Crash Bonsai is one of those sites.

Miniature car wrecks. Hysterical.

Enjoy.

2003-09-02T14:24:00.000-04:00

Abe Lincoln Says: "I'm a trend setter!"

Interesting history lesson for today.

In the shower this morning I began thinking about facial hair. I need to shave badly. It's been days, maybe even a week and I haven't touched myself with a razor. At the same time on NPR the BBC was discussing the upcoming US Presidential election (democrats struggle, Howard Dean, Iraq, recall election, etc., etc.) and it got me thinking...Who was the last president with a beard*? And so that got me thinking...Why have there been no presidents with beards SINCE Benjamin Harrison in 1893? And so, for your enjoyment and education, I present to you the hairy Presidents of our great country.

Presidents with Beards

Abraham Lincoln (#16)
Ulysses S. Grant (#18)
Rutherford B. Hayes (#19)
James A. Garfield (#20)
*Benjamin Harrison (#23)

Presidents with Moustaches

Chester A. Arthur (#21)
Grover Cleveland (#22 & #24)
Theodore Roosevelt (#26)
William H. Taft (#27)

President with Mutton Chops

Martin Van Buren (#8)

So my question for you, ladies and gentlemen readers, since it's been 111 years since we had full facial hair in the oval office and 91 years since a (handlebar) moustache has given a press conference...are we in need of a little growth on the chins of our elected leader? or you happy and satisfied with seeing a clean-cut commander-in-chief?

Don't forget, two of nine of the aforementioned Presidents with facial hair are carved on Mount Rushmore. Coincidence?

Please comment below.

2003-09-02T14:11:00.000-04:00

The bachelor party was great.

I won't go into too much detail, but we all had a fun time. Some gambling, drinking and laughing. I'm glad I met the best man and another guy who will be in the wedding, both really good guys...

Atlantic City wasn't so wonderful, especially if you've been to Las Vegas, but it did have a seedy sort of charm. Hardly redeeming, but there nonetheless. Lots of stories, lots of fun, lots of memories, just as a bachelor party should be. The bachelor was happy (though not the last night when he was cheated by the casino...[dealer hit him when he hadn't told him to, thus busting his hand]...but he told the pit boss and the dealer was promptly and swiftly removed from the game and replaced by, let's hope, a more competent and honest dealer.).

Now I need to get flights down to Florida for the wedding. Yikes.

2003-08-28T11:20:00.000-04:00

My old college roommate is the first of my friends to get married. Hooray for him.

I've known his fiancee for a quite a while, the three of us practically lived together our sophomore year of college. Incidentally, if it weren't for Circa they would have never met. Circa and the fiancee were friends their freshman year and at the beginning of sophomore year when the roommate and I lived next door to Circa, the fiancee would bounce around the halls talking to whomever would listen..many times it was me. My roommate...well he kept to himself...

Until, ironically enough, i had to leave town to attend a wedding one weekend, and found upon my return, that he had a wife... well, a girlfriend that would fast become his wife.... are you following so far?

So they've been together since September (October?) of 1998. Their wedding is in October in the Florida Keys. It should be nice.

This weekend is his bachelor party, three nights in Atlantic City, NJ. This will be my first time to a bachelor party and my first time to Atlantic City. I've yet to hear from his best man, who traditionally, should be planning the events, festivities and debauchery. I was going to pick up some...'party favors' last night at CondomWorld ('boobie glasses' where the nose of the glasses is a woman's chest...an inflatable sheep...and several other traditional party favors)

But then I had second thoughts...What if his friends are squares? what if they find my gifts wholly inappropriate? What if I've suddenly turned what was supposed to be a weekend celebration of my roommate's union with the woman he loves into a cheap and disgusting show of moral-less attitudes and manners.

So I put the 'favors' back, walked out empty handed...and now I regret it. I may go back in today and pick up said 'favors' and get this party going. Anyone know where I can rent a donkey or Tawny Kitaen?

2003-08-24T23:49:00.000-04:00

According to the Wall Street Journal's Career Journal the nation's top ten best jobs are:

Biologist
Actuary
Financial planner
Computer-systems analyst
Accountant
Software engineer
Meteorologist
Paralegal assistant
Statistician
Astronomer

and the nation's top ten worst jobs are:

Lumberjack
Fisherman
Cowboy
Ironworker
Seaman
Taxi driver
Construction worker
Farmer
Roofer
Stevedore (One who is employed in the loading or unloading of ships.)

"The jobs were analyzed according to six key criteria -- environment, income, employment outlook, physical demands, security and stress -- using data from such sources as the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics and the U.S. Census Bureau, as well as studies from trade associations and industry groups. The lower the score, the higher the ranking."

Comments, anyone?

2003-08-24T22:42:00.000-04:00

This is fun.

2003-08-21T22:34:00.000-04:00

The new 2003 Ikea cåtaløg is here!
_{(courtesy of Cïrcå)}

Nøw I knøw where I'll spend the $125.86 my støcks måde for me tødåy!

2003-08-20T16:34:00.000-04:00

Now, I don't want to get too excited about this, but...

It seems, for some reason, the stock for the company i used to work for and (as a result of a bit of dot-com fever and a certain naivete found only in a recent college grads...) the only stock I own has been going UP the past couple of days. This is the first time in nearly three years that it's worth MORE than I paid for it. How much more? As of close today: $9.24.

Always one to keep me realistic, Circa told me: "that's great...you just made the average cost of admission to an old west tourist attraction."

Yee haw!

2003-08-20T15:04:00.000-04:00

Wisdom of the day:

Beware of men who look like DVW.

I can't say that enough.

2003-08-19T15:22:00.000-04:00

Welcome to Connecticut

I drove from Boston to New York last night, a trip that should take no more than four hours. A trip that, on other days, has taken me less than four hours. A trip of 237 easy miles, most of which are at a speed limit of 65.

Why then, did it take me more than six hours last night? I'll tell you why. Connecticut.

One day, when I pen my autobiography, I'll devote an entire chapter to why i dislike Connecticut. Okay, my conscious is calling and making me clarify myself a bit...I suppose I don't really dislike ALL of Connecticut. I would have to say I only dislike the southwestern quarter of the state. From Hartford to Danbury, Greenwich to New Haven. The rest of the state...well, I don't have much experience with the rest of the state.

Now, dear readers, I realize that some of you may be from Connecticut...Some of you may have parents who still live in Connecticut...Perhaps even a short distance from the only redeeming attraction in Connecticut, Stew Leonards. Well, I won't hold that against you.

I, too, once lived in Connecticut. For two long years. I even had a driver’s license that matched my mailing address. I am no less frustrated, or bitter, with the state than I was when I lived there.

My frustration stems from many things including the lack identity, reasonable prices and most importantly, soul. People play a large part too, but I think what gets to me most, what I really have no patience for is the traffic.

And there is traffic all the time. If you travel in the evening (like I did last night) you'll be stuck in construction traffic. If you travel during the day, you'll be stuck in rush hour traffic. It's unavoidable.

The morning rush hour in southwestern Connecticut starts at 5:30 am and lasts until 1:30 pm, the evening rush hour traffic starts at 2:00 pm and lasts until 9:30 pm. The construction crews begin their shifts at 10:00pm and continue on until 5:00am. Year round.

So, aside from the three lanes merging into one in (1+ hours) Westfield and the ugly incident that ensued (the hot tempers, obscene gestures, colorful language [my mom likes to call it 'sailor talk']) with the guy who drove the entire length, disregarding the signage that told him to move over until he was right next to me...The three lanes merging into one (45 min) then opening up to three lanes again only to merge again 1 mile down the road (45 min) in Bridgeport, the three lanes merging into one (45 min) in Darien and finally the three lanes into one from Greenwich to the NY border (30+ min), I made it home safely...albeit a bit tired.

Needless to say, I'm not looking forward to heading back through on Friday.

2003-08-16T12:45:00.000-04:00

I went to dinner last night with Melissa at a nice Japanese restaurant up the block, but still very much in my neighborhood. It's the kind of restaurant that makes you say "I'm going to bring my parents here the next time they come to visit" so you ask the host at the door if they accept reservations for the little private booths where you sit at a low table, your legs dangling underneath and they shut the rice-paper door to give you some privacy. Very Japanese. Of course they do, but you need at least 5 in the party, so on your way out you start thinking of other people you can invite to dinner with you...

We had ordered Edammame (steamed/salted soybeans) before dinner along with some sweet, cool and refreshing plum wine, both are Japanese favorites of ours. I ordered a tofu salad and 3 maki rolls, Melissa shared my salad and also ordered three maki rolls. I must say, if you've never tried a sweet potato roll before, I suggest you do so. My mouth would be quite happy with me if I had exclusively eaten -- especially in large quantities-- 'Idaho Maki' as it is known...The dinner, of course, was delicious and as we left, we wondered aloud why we don't eat Japanese more often....

Later in the night I realized why. I didn't eat quite enough food...I was hungry later and went to bed instead of eating. Needless to say, when I woke up, I was so weak, I could barely muster the strength to pull myself out of bed...I collapsed on the floor and slowly pulled myself to the kitchen...I ate a bowl of cereal and made some coffee...I felt much better.

On a side note, I had to open a new carton of milk today...talk about energy expenditure...I considered poking a hole in the side with a pencil rather then wrestle with bending the paperboard this way, then that way then out and back in...Alas, I opened it the proper way. I love opening a new carton of milk, it makes me feel like the king of France...okay, maybe I exaggerate about that, but I do like knowing that I have almost an entire half-gallon just waiting for anything I can dream up...

After the cereal, I was still hungry. Having just acquired a loaf of 'Canadian Style Multi-Grain' bread, I threw two pieces in the toaster...then my stomach yelled at me that two measly pieces of toast wasn’t nearly enough to get my hunger under control. I certainly didn’t want a repeat of last night, so I put in another two pieces. Yes, four pieces of toast should do it. After all, I love toast! It's crispy, crunchy and warm...If I could, I would have toast with every breakfast dish. I'm not kidding. You know how at IHOP they give you pancakes with all the breakfasts? I would give people toast with their breakfast. Waffles with toast, French toast with toast, pancakes with toast. Screw you Mr. Atkins, I don't eat nearly enough toast.

So, while I waited for my toast to...er…toast, I poured myself a cup of coffee...by now the cereal was beginning to take hold. Maybe I wasn't quite as hungry as I had thought? Are my eyes really bigger than my stomach, as my parents warned me?
I drank my coffee...waited...waited...waited...the damn toaster takes too long.

Well it's too late now to put the bread back, I can see it's just starting to get brown. Oh my, look at the loaf! It looks like I’ve taken a quarter of the loaf of bread! What was I thinking? Count the pieces...surely you couldn't have really eaten a quarter of the loaf...two..four...okay there are 12 left...that means, plus four...okay 16 total. DOH! I REALLY AM EATING A QUARTER OF THE LOAF! I am a glutton. I feel terrible now. Why would I do this to myself? Such guilt.

Ding goes the toaster. Ouch! The pieces are hot. A little more coffee...Then I'll hunker down and eat them...yes you will eat all of them young man. You're not going to waste a single crust. Eat! You wanted four pieces...

I finished all four pieces and stuffed myself with as much guilt as toast. I can't help but blame then Japanese food for this...If I had eaten Indian, there's no way I would have been that hungry and thus I would have eaten a modest amount of food this morning.

Isn't that right, Mollusk?

PS – Despite everything I could go for some ‘Idaho Maki’ about now…It is that good.

2003-08-13T11:44:00.000-04:00

And another special thanks to Quicksilver (a.k.a. "I see dumb people") for the link from that wonderfully sarcastic blog.

2003-08-12T22:18:00.000-04:00

It has been too long since my last post.

I apologize.

New posts soon.

A special thank you goes to The Divine Ms. J for the link.

2003-07-17T11:58:00.000-04:00

We gonna rock down through electric avenue...

Sometimes I wish the power company worked like cell phone company. You could go and look over their plans...Choose one that suits your lifestyle/situation (house, apt, trailer, etc.). You would sign up for a certain number of Kwh per month, with, say, free night and weekend kwh.

Of course, if you go over your kwh per month, there's an additional charge... But you could run your AC all night! Sleep in cool comfort...

If life only worked like this.

2003-07-16T11:07:00.000-04:00

This is BitterTree never sleeping again

This frightens me to my core.

Especially with the impending trip and most definite stays at sketchy (read: CHEAP) motels along the way.

Note: The motel did not require a credit card to be on file. It could be difficult for them to track the person(s) who stayed in this room prior to the findings.

2003-07-16T10:42:00.000-04:00

Welcome ashore, Mollusk!

There are some bloggers who are just so chock-full of content they post several times a day.There are some bloggers who only post a few times a week. What the latter lack in volume, they make up in quality.

The Mollusk is one of these bloggers.

Blogging from somewhere deep in the pacific ocean, his posts are always witty, insightful and thought provoking. More than once I've wanted to comment on a post, only to find, to my shock and dismay, no comments available!

I'm happy to announce the Mollusk swam up from the abyss last night and added comments to his blog.

Ahoy to you, Mollusk. Ahoy to you.

2003-07-11T18:04:00.000-04:00

I have a problem with movie theaters...

As I understand it, this is the business model of a movie theater.

Hollywood makes movies which they distribute to theaters. Theater owners then show these movies at their theaters. Ticket sales go mostly to the Hollywood studios, whereas popcorn, soda and candy sales go to the theater owners.

Hollywood of course want more movies shown every day (more showtimes would mean more ticket sales and thus more revenues...)

Theater owners want longer times between movie showtimes so patrons (like you and I) will have more time to loiter in the lobby and buy popcorn, soda and candy (hence more revenues for the theater owners).

If you have been to the movies within the last few years, you have certainly seen the slide show ads that are on the screen as you enter the theater, prior to the movie. You have probably also seen the 30 second - 1 minute more typical 'television commercial' ads that are shown prior to the trailers.

So where does the revenue from those ad sales go? Do they help offset the price of the ticket, so you pay only $9 or $10 instead of $15 or $20? Does it help offset the price of the popcorn, soda and candy? So you'll pay only $3.00 for a box of snow caps instead of $6? Or does that revenue go straight into the theater owner's pocket, with not a thought about helping the consumer...

My guess...Straight into the theater owner's pocket.

Though, I suppose they sell the targeted ad space (nationwide) before a particular movie to capture a particular audience (literally), thus it may go straight back to hollywood. Which once again, doesn't help the consumer at all.

Wouldn't it be great if FINALLY we were REWARDED for watching advertising?

Close your eyes and imagine this. You and your significant other decide you want to see a movie at 8:35pm. You arrive at the theater at 7:50pm, to ensure you'll get tickets and a good seat. To your surprise there's not much of a line. You order your tickets, since you're there 30 minutes early, you are handed a coupon for $1 off a large popcorn. "Great!" you think. And, to your surprise, you pay $2 less for the movie you want to see. "How can that be?" you wonder.

It works like this. The theater owner has sold time before the movie starts, and since you arrived so early, you'll he's assuming you'll be sitting in the theater watching the ads. To ensure you do this, he's given you $1 off popcorn (where the money from the ad sales is offsetting the $1 off coupon, when used) if you DO use the coupon, where else are you going to go with a large popcorn except to the theater to sit and enjoy. Once there, you'll watch the ads, and hopefully buy the products. If you don't use the coupon or you show up late, you'll most likely go to the theater and watch the ads, anyway, perhaps even buy a large popcorn for full price. If you don't, you'll go play video games (another source of revenue for the theater owners).

So what about the $2 off the ticket? Well you see, one of the large soft drink companies has paid a lot of money to a hollywood movie studio to feature their soft drink in the movie (contract says the characters must drink from their family of soft drinks no less than 50 times within the movie) and a luxury car company has also paid a lot of money to feature one of their cars in the movie (guess what's in the cupholder?). The money the studio has received from these companies has offset your ticket price. Sweet huh?

Laugh if you want. I don't think it's that far off of an idea.

Pay me for my time and attention, please.

2003-07-11T17:35:00.000-04:00

You may have noticed...

I've tweaked my blog template a bit. Let me know if you like it better this way of if I should revert back to the old template.

2003-07-09T17:37:00.000-04:00

Ben Franklin Revisited

The library wasn't as great as I had hoped. They block a LOT of the internet, so I was unable to check email, FTP, or read anything .blogspot.com.

I could post to my blog, but I couldn't access it afterward. Franklin is rolling in his grave.

Last year some time Circa showed me The Homeless guy's blog supposedly written by a homeless man somewhere in America using free library computers. If his library experience is anything like mine, he has no idea what his blog actually looks like.

Come to think of it...I've seen a blog written by Julius Caesar. Maybe he's updating from a library in Rome...Though, I think his days are numbered.

2003-07-09T12:45:00.000-04:00

It's all about Benjamin

And I mean it too...No, not money, the man. The 'founding father'

On the trip home from Yosemite, I read a very interesting special edition Time Magazine on Ben Franklin. What I'm not going to do with this post is summarize the article. What I will do is write about how his ideas are impacting me as I write this.

You see Franklin was a man of many talents, ideas and occupations. One such idea from Franklin, was the lending library. You can go, check out books and bring them back for the use of others. Oh sure, there were libraries prior to Frankling, I believe the Greeks had libraries. Michelangelo designed a library, well the vestibule of a library...My point is...Franklin came up with the idea to give books to people for their enjoyment at home.

We are still doing this today. I am currently sitting in my local library, literally only a few steps from my apartment. I have with my laptop and I'm blogging? How can you do this, you say? Because my local library has FREE HIGH SPEED INTERNET ACCESS for public use. Not only that but I'm actually WIRELESS now. Wi-Fi-Li-Brari ;o)

Okay, so there are a few drawbacks. I think they've blocked the chat ports, I can't seem to connect to AIM or MSN Messenger. It could just be a failing on my part, but i think they've done it system wide.

But hey, I am able to blog, so it can't be all that bad.

I can't help but think of Ben as I sit here. This is certainly his idea, plus progress.

Here's to you, Mr. Franklin.

Thanks.

2003-07-07T15:41:00.000-04:00

Truly Beautiful

Melissa and I returned last night from a trip to Yosemite National Park with her family and family-friends.

There were around 16 kids from ages 4 - 17. Eight of us were 20 - 27. The rest were REAL adults. That's a BIG group.

We did some hiking, rafting and card playing. Got dirty. Waited on long lines to take hot showers and saw no fireworks for the 4th of July (they're prohibited in the park).

I did do my very first Tequila shot in celebration of her mom's birthday.

I also saved the camping tradition by lighting the fire the first night, and all the nights thereafter. There were several unsucessful attempts made to light the fire on the first night, including spitting rum on the kindling to light the bigger logs.
"Oh No" I thought. This is going to get ugly.

I noticed at the bottom there were still a few embers, so I collected as many dried pine needles and small grass as i could, placed it over the embers and blew...and blew...and blew... low and behold it lit! and with much needed help from Melissa's uncle, he added the fuel, as i blew and grew the fire...smaller sticks lit the bigger sticks, the bigger sticks lit the logs...pretty soon we had a really nice campfire. The uncle and I received a round of applause. There was a second and perhaps even better result of my keen fire skill. With that act I absolved myself from being tossed in the river at 4am in my sleeping bag. Apparently a family tradition for someone camping with them for the first time.

Lucky me.

2003-06-30T16:38:00.000-04:00

It's been a while since I blogged. I bet you thought I abandoned my post. Not a chance.

It's not easy arranging for Polar bears to be shipped back to their home state. The logisitcs of such a relocation are a nightmare. It looks as though everything is working out for the best. I hope the animal rights activists that have been calling my house at all hours day and night, will stop now that they've bene returned home safely. I don't think Noah had to deal with animal rights activists...then again I think Noah WAS the animal rights activist.

Circa's slowed his refined sugar consumption and tossed the last of the donuts from our competition.

The night was spent bowling, billiarding, talking and drinking. Always enjoyable.

More adventures await on the road ahead. I'll blog about them all.

2003-06-28T19:50:00.000-04:00

The contest is moving along nicely. Circa is sick on the donuts. Four down and he's complaining that his mouth feels like it's coated with Crisco. Makes me laugh. I've finished four of my Pepsi Twist's, three of them have contained RUM.

Melissa is now eating one of Circa's donuts. I'm feeling cheated...He's all for it.

We've discovered a new and evil drinking game called "Drunk Driver". Evil Game.

Circa just said "Drinking doesn't make me fat because I'm too hungover to eat the next day."

This is one contest where there are no winners.

Circa - 4 donuts, 4 beers
Bitter - 4 pepsi twists (3 bacardi & pepsi twists)

2003-06-28T17:32:00.000-04:00

I am BitterTree's terrible idea

This morning, after breakfast with Circa1977 and Melissa, we were discussing Blogs and blogging and my post on self-control. As you may know already, circa has a problem with donuts. I have a problem with soda. I casually mentioned to Circa that I would drink a soda, the first one in nearly ten months, if he would eat a donut.

He accepted the challenged, and suggested he would eat twelve donuts if I were to drink a six pack of soda. I accepted that challenge.

Following Reeves' first law of drinking..."any time there can be drinking, there should be drinking" this contest has now transformed into into a night of gluttony, abandonment of any and all self-control. Beer has been purchased, a handle of Bacardi sits opened on the counter and a deck of cards is screaming for us to play some drinking game.

It has begun. I will update hourly.

Circa - 2 donuts, 1/2 beer.
Bitter - 1/2 Pepsi Twist.

2003-06-26T14:53:00.000-04:00

The search for zoological refrigeration equipment is not going well. I've spent a small fortune over the last few days on ice blocks for the polar bears, though my local mini-mart owner isn't too upset about that. I told him I'm building an igloo. He doesn't know about the ark, nor would he understand.

On top of that, who knew that June fell during the mating season for the polar bears? I'm not even sure that I have a male and female. They've been a bit stressed because they've been cooped up in the ark this entire spring and now this heat isn't helping. I'm doing my best. They like lemonade.

The other animals, well, I let them go. I figured it was about time they learned self-reliance. So they scurried into obscurity in my neighborhood. I read in the paper this morning that yesterday someone reported seeing a llama near their swimming pool. I turned the page and read dilbert. He cracks me up.

Okay, well, until I can find a new home for my furry friends, I'll have to make some more lemonade. I may need to buy 3 tickets to northern alaska soon. They do live in Alaska, right?

2003-06-25T22:57:00.000-04:00

You know you watch too much TV when you start recognizing actors from commercials in other commercials.

I just saw a woman from an expedia commercial in a Geico commercial.

I don't even have cable.

2003-06-25T16:26:00.000-04:00

My name is Mark and I have a problem with doughnuts.

And we all have our weakness for strong drink, I'm sure.
- Guestblogger Circa1977

2003-06-25T15:44:00.000-04:00

I have a friend who has a problem with donuts. He won't eat them.

I have a friend who has a problem with ice cream sandwiches. He won't eat them.

I have a problem with soda. I won't drink it.

Are you all freaks? Are you all diabetic? Do you have a problem with refined sugar?

Not at all. In fact, the other two would have no problem eating/drinking the problem food of the third.

Well then, what problem could all three of you possibly share?

Our problem? Our problem is self-control.

We recognize it in ourselves that we in fact do have a problem with the food/beverage. If friend A eats one donut, he'll eat the dozen. If Friend B eats one ice cream sandwich, he'll eat the box, and if I have just one sip of the deliciously sweet, bubbly beverage we know as soda, I'll drink half the case.

We recognize the problems in ourselves and we took action. We stopped. We knew it couldn't continue with the gluttonous lifestyle we were leading. We were all leading this lifestyle independently, too.

This was supposed to be funnier. Just turned out sad. I really do have a problem with soda.

2003-06-25T11:06:00.000-04:00

Call me Noah.

Okay. I get it. It's hot out. It's about time if you ask me. Winter ended yesterday and jumped right into summer. Between the official start of spring in March and the official start of summer last week, there were two nice sping days. One at the end of April and one in May. There were also three blizzards, 84 days of rain and an ice storm. This scared me so I prepared myself. Now I have an empty ark in my back yard, several hundred small and midsize animals who need to be fed and two frisky polar bears I need to keep cool. Sometimes, I tend to overreact.

So summer has come out to play, like it should have done weeks ago. It's hot now. I like it. If this had only happened weeks ago, I wouldn't have the enormous animal-feed bill sitting next to me or searching the web for a place to buy zoological refrigeration equipment.

So goes the world.

2003-06-25T01:03:00.000-04:00

For the past few weeks I've been reading "Fast Food Nation" the New York Times bestseller and all around interesting and balanced account of ALL aspects of the fast food industry. The author covers everything from the franchising, worker unions and factory farming to soft drink sponsorship of school districts, slaughterhouse injuries and corporate greed. In the book he argues that one of the worst jobs in the US today may be the overnight cleaning crew in a slaughterhouse. To fully understand just how horrendous the job is, you'll have to read the book, but I must say its not pleasant.

I'd like to add another terrible job to the list. Sure sure, EVERYONE says their job is the worst, but I must say, this is one job I would NEVER want. If you have ever worked retail and had to handle an irate customer, this one is for you...

Lost Luggage Clerk - I can think of no worse customer service position than this one. The ONLY people you see are people who are angry because their luggage has been lost by YOU. You never see the people who had a fine flight and have collected their luggage..No one ever comes over to your counter, suitcase in hand and says "Excuse me, I just wanted to say thank you for not losing my luggage, I really appreciate it!"

That's your assignment everyone. The next flight you take, where your luggage collection is successful, take a moment to thank the clerk behind the lost luggage counter. I'm sure he/she will appreciate it.

2003-06-24T12:22:00.000-04:00

The acorn doesn't fall far from the tree and this bitter sapling is near to the heart of he who has been scorned and spurned by the world.

Best blogging to this erudite fledgling wrangler of words in the world of the web. Oh, the web he weaves.
- Guestblogger Circa1977